Women's Devotional Bible
Myth: “I’m accountable only to myself.”
Several years ago, I joined a small group at the church I attended. Before I really knew anyone, I shared one of my biggest struggles with the group: an eating disorder. I normally kept my eating disorder concealed fearing judgment or being treated differently, but my understanding was that everything we shared in the group stayed confidential. Soon after, a woman in a different small group reached out—I had never met her before, and she wanted to get to know me better. I was a little surprised but also flattered. However, when we met at a local deli, I realized she knew about my eating disorder and all the details I shared with my small group. She was nice, and in any other circumstance I would have enjoyed talking with her, but I was unsettled and upset. My private struggles had been shared outside of my knowledge and permission. If even Christians breach confidentiality, can I trust anyone? It really hurt. “Never again,” I told myself. “I’ll work through my struggles on my own.”
Years have gone by since that breach of confidence, and I’ve never shared my struggles with anyone since. But as summer approaches, I’ve been struggling with the way I look and feel. Some days, I think being accountable to myself is completely fine. But not lately. I want someone to walk with me, encourage me, pray for me and cry with me. I just don’t know if I can trust anyone. What if I vulnerably share again and the same thing happens? I think my current small group would be respectful, but I’ve been wrong before, and I don’t want to go down that road again. Besides, I know I don’t have to go to church to be a Christian. So I’ve been pondering whether to stay or leave. I think I would be better off on my own—experiencing God on solo retreats and figuring out life and faith for myself.
—Melissa
A breach of confidence really hurts. Especially when we shared a tender area of our lives with others. Matthew 18:15–17 instructs us on how to handle conflict between believers. We are to start directly with the person who has hurt us so that loving relationships within God’s family can be restored. The goal is for those involved to experience a renewed relationship with God as we humbly point out their sin and our offense. Depending on the response of the one we are approaching, additional witnesses may be necessary. With God’s Word as our guide, we can navigate confrontation lovingly and restoratively to uphold unity amongst believers and bring glory to God.
The truth is, Christians are called to live in community with one another. God made us to live and work as members of one body. Check out the book of Acts to see how the church came about. It had ups and downs, good times and bad times. Back then the church was a group of people trying to follow the teachings of Jesus. Look for that same vision when you look to join other believers and share your journey of faith together.
- Jesus chose 12 disciples to be his friends and followers. He did not try to follow the Father’s call on his life alone; he shared his life with other people. Yes, all of them were flawed humans who needed to grow in certain areas, but Jesus poured his life into encouraging, teaching and sharing with those friends.
- Even when Jesus sent out his disciples to minister, he sent them out by twos (Luke 10:1). Jesus modeled the importance of ministering together.
- Read what Paul says about the church as one body with different parts in Romans 12:4–8. How does this passage speak to the need for Christian community? What can you contribute to a community of believers? How might you grow from being in such a community?
- Read Hebrews 10:24–25. Reflect on how these verses speak to your need for the fellowship of other believers.
- 1 Peter 5:8 describes the devil prowling “around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” In nature, lions pick off prey who are isolated from the herd. While some people might think that being independent is a sign of strength, 1 Peter 5:8 shows us that it’s actually a vulnerable way to live. We find strength and protection in community, just as gazelles find safety when they stay in the herd.